drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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