we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
