She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Houston, we have a squirter
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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