I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
