My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
