I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
