if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
