So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
