I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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