I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
