Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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