no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
