I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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