the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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