i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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