At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
