just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
