Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
