I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
