I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
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I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
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I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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