what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
