How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
