If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
