He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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