I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
