the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
