so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
