if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
