I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
