Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
