...so i touched it.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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