We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
