so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
