Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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