Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
This is the high leading the old right now
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
