I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
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Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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