i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'd cum for enchiladas.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
