If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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