yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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