i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
