: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize