Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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