Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
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I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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