well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
