He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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