I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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