Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
