Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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