How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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