Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
