big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
