I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It's rum buckets o'clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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