I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
