Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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