I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
