Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize