i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I am spending my child support on dildos
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
