I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
we're so committed to being not committed
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
