Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
